the reality is..it SUCK!

today is the day..though it has been expected. but it still hurt like shit...

..chapter 3..

another chapter in my life has ended.closed.
the plot made me feel the palpitation that has long never been felt.
never thought that its gonna be THIS brief..


its ok.

will move on.
chapter 4 might be fun.. kan?

numb

have you ever felt numbness? its there but it is not really there..u can touch it but u can barely feel it..n you want it to go away? yeah.

when u longed for sumting soooo much for sooo long..sooo much that u become numb.sooo long dat ur heart become numb. and in the end you couldnt feel anything anymore.



* **** *. but i couldnt feel anything anymore. make me feel happy again please.

havent met

michael buble has never failed to melt my heart thru his 'oh-gila-cair' lyrics and 'oh-nk-mati-dgr' voice..over.n.over.again.
.and again.
yes, again.

everytime.
this time, its this song.. its lyrics is so cute and the rhytm is so catchy :)
loving evry bit of it.

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It Right
And We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

lelaki yg punyai kata2 mencairkan,
mr.buble :)

oh mari dowloadd!! (ok ptutnya beli..haha)

and he say 'thank you"

having a chance to be a medical student, for me, is a bless..

i am reminded of the greatness of Allah the Almighty everyday, every moment..how wonderful the creation of His..and how He can take evrything that u own in a split second..all that u believed to be,might not be at all..u might be a brave, strong & tough soldier today, but who knows what will happen to u tomorrow? u can end up being a cripple who would be in the ward for 3 damn years, needing assisstance in doing E.V.E.R.Y S.I.N.G.L.E T.H.I.N.G you can do so effortlessly today.

now..im counting my blessing everyday..thank you Allah..

.......

that day..i went to a pt's bed just for fun..as i saw his finger pointing up..up..i don noe..somewhere..
i saw a few student nurse by his bed..so i asked them what is he pointing to..they shrugged.
not sattisfied with the given gesture, i ask the pt myself.."pakcik..pakcik tunjuk ape tu?"..i have to put my ear sooo close to his mouth as he could barely speaks..he whisper.. "siling"..i was so happy to hear a respond..then i ask again "ohh..ade ape kat siling tu pakcik?"..without looking at me he answered "bunga2"..

i was enlightened..

i have been in the ward for 3 weeks..but never once i reallise that the ceiling is decorated with small stamped flowers..that small flowers..created an impulse in that pakcik's brain..as that is the only thing he could do now..SEEING..he cannot move as freely anymore..he is as stiff as a wood..every single movement need a generous amout of effort.

i reallise how i took things for granted..how i go thru my days, just for the sake of living..days goes by pass me..time passes me so quickly..i should take time to look at things carefully so that i can SEE..not just looking, but seeing..

.....

from that day onward, i go to his bed everyday..talking to him..trying to make an active conversation..just so that he would not get too bored..it is a pleasure to hear his respond..eventho sumtimes i have to asked him to repeat his answer soooo many times, he did it willingly. never once he keep himself quiet when i asked him questions..

:
:

one day... when i was putting some gauze on his legs, to take off the pressure from the mould he has to wear to straighten his crooked legs..'"mencengkam" as he would say it..i look at him, patting his head, and....

i ask "ok x pakcik?"..........
"x ok" he whispered......
"x ok?kenape?mencengkam lagi kaki?".....
"selimut"..

i pull up the blanket up to his neck..and i giggle..he is so cute in that position!!haha atok yg comel..

"cmni pakcik??ok x??sejuk lagi??"
"ok..."
"dah ok??hehe...ok...skang pakcik tido ek pkcik..tido yee" putting my hand on his head

:
:
:

then..

for the first time,he look at me in the eye..
and whispered ever so softly..

"terima kasih......"

....

i froze.holding up my tears.

.....

that is the most beautiful 'thank you' i ever got..
so precious..
so sincere..
so pure..

:
:
:

thank you Allah..
thank you for letting me be in 'my shoe'...

aku sudah lupa

aku kini sudah lupa.


pernah x alami situasi begini?...

pabila cikgu tnyakan soalan. yg kalian tau jawapannya..sgt tahu..pernah jwb soalan ini..erghh...siap ingt lagi dr muka surat mane dibaca makumat ini..tp..erghhh..ape ek?lupaa...xingt..sgt xtercapai dek akal..sgt tau tp sgt xtau..


.....

haih...
aku juga sudah lupa.

aku lupa bagaimana rasanya apabila sepasang mata memandang tepat pada anak mata aku, smbil mgatakan betapa aku amat disayangi..

aku juga lupa, bagaimana rasanya hati berbunga2 sepanjang hari..menunggu saat bersua..

sudah aku tidak ingt bagaimana rasa leburnya hati tatkala aku ketakutan, dikatakan pada aku supaya jgn dirisaukan kerana pasti akan selamat diri ini..

tidak ku ingt bagaimana ingin pecah jantungku bila aku rehatkan kepalaku ke bahu dan dirapatkan pipi ke ubunku..

bagaimana ya rasanya bila aku lihat dr jauh senyuman terukirkan untuk ku..hanya untuk aku.aku sudah lupa..

sudah aku tidak tahu langsung bagaimana bibir ini lenguh dek senyuman setiap kali aku terima mesej2 indah.. setiap masa, setiap hari, setiap minit, dari fon kecil yg kini sudah tidak lagi berbunyi..

btul aku sudah lupa..bagaimana darah mengalir sperti tsunami..bilamana kawan2ku menceritakan bagaimana diri ini dipertahan dari belakang..

ingin sekali ku ingt bagaimana rasanya aku mati seketika tatkala telinga ini dibisikan betapa aku diingini..




aku sudah lupa

the good old days..

this is happiness...

when i recieve a call i did not expect in a thousand years, when i hear that voice, a weight is lifted off of my heart..=)..thank you for calling...and THANK you for saying sorry..

im sorry too for what wrong i did to you and for all those harsh words i wrote. and sorry for being so sibuk2 in ur life..

i hope this time around u'll make it right..
i hope this time around u will not break her heart as u did mine..=)
g kawin cepat2..aku nk jd mak angkat..eh leh ke mak angkat?



p/s: ignore list cane?

review on creed silver mountain EDT

the best review for creed from a lelaki 'kacak' tp buncet sikettt,pakai tie zip..

"u ckp i boroi" "manede.. buncit lah" "boroi lah tu" after a few minutes "tgk, i dah xboroi dah" *sambil merah muka menahan nafas*

"i nk beli perfume yg mahal" katanya...

so kitorang pon search la psl perfume yg mahal sgt tu...

so jumpe satu perfume yg xberagak mahalnye..

CREED

Creed Silver Mountain Eau De Toilette Spray 120ml/4oz

• A crisp & fruity fragrance for man
• Adds a dash of tenderness to modern man
• Combines with fresh, crisp & clear notes
• Recommended for casual wear

price: RM803.00


this is what he said when he saw the advert:

• A crisp & fruity fragrance for man

"eh fruittty..i nak! i nak beli!!!"

• Adds a dash of tenderness to modern man

"i AM a modern man! =D"

• Combines with fresh, crisp & clear notes

"eh crispy..I AM a crispy man (smbil kipas2 muke sndiri)..krakkk! krukkkk! krakk! krukkk!"

• Recommended for casual wear
  

" i am a metropolitan man!"

xbergerak

my life is static these days.
.motionless.

...................................................
...................................................

aiyo..bosan tau x

dari blog kak fynn (puisi tepi jalan)..

kerana terhempapnya ayat2 dr entry kak fynn yg ini kalinya keatas kepala aku dgn deras..terasa bebannya..
kerana tertamparnya aku sampi ternampak merahnya di pipi..
dan kerana berderai air mata aku kedalam..
aku paste entry kak fynn ini.
untuk menyedarkan aku.untuk aku bukak mata.untuk kamu2 juga....

Thursday, September 10, 2009

perhatian penduduk negeri nafi

terimalah.

dia tak pernah nakkan kau.
dia sekarang dah ada org lain.
dia dah lama tak nak kau.
dia cuma nak main2.

tapi tidak.

kau tolak untuk percaya.
kau rasa kau lebih kenal dia.
kau tahu dia siapa.
kau benci orang semua.

berhentilah.

siapa yang kau bohong selain engkau sendiri.
dia tidak cari engkau
dia tidak peduli engkau
dia sudah lama pergi

cuma kau degil untuk memancang nisan.
sampai bila.

pecah suria pagi adalah selepas segelap2 malam.
maka harung sahaja runcing beku gelita.
mana ada kesepian yang tidak lama?
sesaat dalam siksa tak pernah setimpal dengan seribu hari bahagia.

kerana masa itu ilusi.
sepintas untuk yang menunggu.
seabad untuk yang tak mahu.

benar. hidup ini kejam. benar. tidak aku diadilkan. benar.
tapi yang ini benar juga:

betapa mudah kita membiar jiwa hancur.
sedangkan dari kecil ditatang mak ayah.
betapa mudah kita membiar diri ranap.
sedangkan dari kecil dijulang tak sudah.

betapa murah.

kalaulah tahu mak ayah.
kalaulah tahu betapa kita tak sudah2
membiar jiwa dan diri jadi murah dan mudah.

kalaulah.
pasti hancur dan ranap
seorang mak
seorang ayah.

entri ini adalah untuk mereka2 yang hidup dengan penafian.
ditulis dengan jujur, semoga didengarkan.



yang benar:

fynn jamal

bekas menteri besar,
negeri perempuan2 bodoh,
daerah denial,
zon sampah berkeruh.

drug

i need another dose..




of you

i miss you

badly

sadness

remember muniama? my patient...the one who pronounce 'sepang' as 'essepai'..?
dat day she said her house number is "tiga puluh dua.tiga"..
i was very scepticle about the word "tiga puluh dua.tiga"..is it, 323? or 3023? or 3222?..
so...i asked omar to call muniama one more time to ask her the correct address..this time around she said "rumah nombo..aaaa...tiga puluh tiga"...i was like, okayyyyyyy...
then later dat evening me,omar,zubair n chia went out to find our patient's house..
to sepang we go..
fist destination...taman sri sepang...rumah muniama..."tiga puluh.tiga"..
to our suprise, theres no muniama living in the house number 33..ouhhhhh...nk kene ni..
i tried to call her again afta penat pusing2 in the taman..
THIS time she say "rumah...aaaa...itu...tiga puluh smbilan"...apekah?!!!!!!!!!huaa..

after some time,we found the house..alhamdullilah!!
i dgn jahatnye telah meng'set'kan otak yg die ni mesti cm patient yg menyusahkan,ade memory lost, kerek gile, and the lsit goes on...

but..

she has proved me wrong.TOTALLY wrong. terasa sgt bersalah.

she is very nice.

her mum is very bubbly and cute!!

they open up to us immediately..smpi tunjuk sume surat2 sokso, sijil kematian, ubat2..

her life is so.......kesian...sgt2 sedih..financial prob..i terpaksa tahan air mata dgn sgt dahsat..xleh nk ceta lebih2 kat sini..patient's confidentiality..but i really felt it..my heart crumpled badly..

her childrens is hopeless! listening to her talking about her children, we became very angry.. zubair smpi nk mintak number fon anak xgune die tu, nk call..(nk blasah kot.mentang2 terer boxing haha :p)..

we talk for almost an hour..her mum is so cute..she cannot stop talking.hehe..

anyway....

i was depress when we leave her house..

i will try my best to help her..

i promise i'll do sumting..atleast sumting small..sumting.

i'll go to her house again next week..

aunty..wait ek...nnt sy kasi bwk buah ok?kita mkn sama2 ek..:)

this evening, we went to find our patient's house for the house visit..
one of the patient's house is near to sepang gold coast..
so...guess wat..

cont...

how to adapt living in hell on earth?????
:
:
:

this is how its done..

:
:
:







candid by chia n farid: tiga2 TIDO mase lecture!!


dorang pon tido gak..haha



this is HEAVEN in hell :P

ni namenye dah xde keje

have you ever heard of hell on earth?
this is it
this IS hell.

esepai..aiiiiyoyooo..

my first ever posting as a clinical medical student is, PUBLIC HEALTH!
aduiyaiiiiiiiii...first day msuk RC, at 8am, dgr lecture..pjggggggg..berjelaaaaa...lameeee...dr 8am tu smpi la kul 1pm..mane x kematu otak?..on the first day tu pon dah berjela list assigment yg prof dah kasi..nk tau?..haaaa meh bace..

1. buat proposal on health intervention program
2. bace atleast 10 published journal
3. wat literature review from the journals..lebih kurang 10..
4. wat questionnaire lebih kurang 130 cmtu..
5. wat report for every lecture on evry attachment

semua yg terlistkan kat atas ni...deadline = MONDAY (17/8) !!!!! tp deadline report lecture tu on wednesday.. gamak laa aku nk membuatnyee..

eh bukan tu je...pastu,ptg tu lak,(still first day agy nih),kul 230pm, we are at klinik kesihatan daerah sungai pelek..we were each given a case file of a patient (lebih kurang 2inchi la tebal bende alah tu)..we have to COPY EVERYTHING dlm file tu dlm mase xsmpi sejam!...eh xckup ngan tu je...we are then have to call the patient, to make sure that they are still living at the address stated on their file, and are alive..we have to tell them that we will be going to their house for a 'lawatan kesihatan'..not once...we have to go to their house atleast 4 times! and we have to make them say 'YES yu may'..if the fon number of the patient is not stated, u have to go and find the house in the address to make sure that are they still living there..if the address does not exist..you have to take another case file and COPY the whole damn thing ALL OVER AGAIN...adussss...naseb baik aku pny ade nombo tepon..

and so........i dial the number.........

..toot toot...toot toot..toot toot...

muniama: heeelloooooo... (gaya org bgun tido yg ade emas dlm mulut..si patient ni jwb)
me: aaa hello, bleh saya ckp dgn Muniama?
muniama:(dgn nada yg same sprti td,die jwb...) bolehhhhh
me: (oh ok die nk g pggil muniama la tu..aku ckp dlm hati)

....silence...

me: (eh pehal syp je die ni??)..oh ni muniama ke??
muniama: aaaaaaaaa (still nada yg sama)
me: (adui pehal die ni?tampa kang.pham ke x aku ckp ni?) ok pn.muniama, saya syazwani pelajar perubatan mewakili klinik kesihatan sungai pelek..sy nk pastikan samada alamat puan masih sama atau dah tukar...
muniama : aaaaaaaaaaaaa (zzzzzzz agaknye)
me: ok, puan masih tinggal di bla bla bla bla?
muniama: itu tadaaaaa (teka la sndiri nada die)
me: oh?puan dah pindah ye?..ape alamat baru puan ye?

muniama: aaaaaaaaaaa
me: (ya Allahhhhhhhhh..pehal die jwb 'aaaa' plak ni?die phm ke x ni??mati aku)..puan..rumah..rumah puan kat mane ye?
muniama: itu essepai..
me: essepaI??ECPI??
muniama: aaaaaaa laa..itu essepai..
me: (asal cm name air ECPI lak alamt die ni?die tggal kat bgunan ECPI ke?) ECPI??
muniama: aaaaaa laaaa itu essepan (mmg die sbut essepaN)
me: (hahaha!!!) oh..SEPANG??!
muniama: aaaaaaaaaaaaa
me: (haha gile bodo aku..essepai)..ok, ape alamat penuh puan?
muniama: aaaaaaaaaa
me: (mati aku!kene tn sebaris2 la niiii)...err..puan tinggal di taman ape ye?
muniama: aaaaaaaa itu serrri essepaN
me: (SERI SEPANG la tu..)..ok,jln nombo berape?
muniama: tujjhuu
me: (got it. TUJUH. yes aku terer)..err..rumah nombo berapa?
muniama: tiga puluh dua.tiga.
me: (watta?) tiga puluh dua.tiga.?
muniama: aaaaaaaaaa itu laaaa...tiga puluh dua.tiga.
me: (cis die ni..323 ke?)...323 ke?
muniama: haaaa..tiga puluh dua.tiga!
me: (nape la belit2 makcik oiiii) ok,saya ulang ye..alamat puan ialah 323,jln 7, bla bla bla...
muniama: aaaaaaaa (still xsegar2 agy suare die ni)
me: (bgun la mkcik oi)..ok,sy nk tny, boleh x, dlm minggu dpn, sy nk dtg rumah puan untuk membuat lawatan kesiahatan?
muniama: bullllehhhhh........
me: (yes! tp btul ke die pham ni?btul ke boleh ni?) boleh??
muniama: bullllehhhhh........
me: (die pahm kot.erk..harap2 la)..ok, nnt bile saya nk dtg nnt, sy call puan ye?
muniama: aaaaaaaaaaaaa
me: ok...terima kasih puan..
muniama: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

...toooooooooooooooooooooottt..

ini. mmg public hell.. -_-''

new day.new year

its now the 3rd year of a life ive chosen

i am now here
lets do this..
.STRONGER.
.happier.

to u:

i wrote sumting in the wild fire of anger
it was meant to hurt you, for you had done the same
i know im bad..but so are you
it was meant to make you understand. and i am SURE it did...
coz since then, u DIS-apear..whushhhh...
no more u..no more me..
..no more we..

huh wuteva! i dont mind losing a fren like u..
..im lying.. i do..
i do care. coz a fren is FOR-eva..
but.. heck with it.

i confess. i do think of u..a little bit..s.o.m.e.t.i.m.e. (s)

BUT ...
i am relieve to have let it out of my chest.
im not afraid anymore..
it no longer eating me away inside.
just so u know..
I HAVE NO REGRETS.. =)

no one starts a war ---or rather, no one in his sense
ought to do so---without first being clear in his mind
what he intends to achieve by that war and how he
intends to conduct it.
-CARL VON CLAUSEWITZ-

*this post has nothing to do with the previous post =)

mungkin

u might have not known
u might have not realised
u might have forgotten

i might not tell
i might not show
but i never forgot

that u are still here
not there
.here.

birthday in advance! thx guys =)

as u noe..or u might not know..or maybe u forgot..
my birthday is on 27/6..(ok,kang ade lak org ckp aku sje2 nk letak birth date aku nk promote..aish..maaf ye,saya bukn begitu)
but my sweet n lovely frens decided to celebrate it 4 days earlier..coz some of my frens will not be here when the day actualy comes..thx kencang,faiz,ain,anis,baem,zul,ali

we started the day with watching TRASFORMERS: revenge of the fallen...it was superb guys..awesome..but it was to fast to grab..i was confused as whom is talking to who is the one who is bombing the other autobots..haha..my bad i guess..otak lembab..kuang kuang kuanggggg...we are in luck because we did the booking 2 days prior..because the line at the counter was amazingly long, n it is full til midnite..good job syaz..the trick is, dont book on9 for 1st day show, book by phone! sure ade pny la tempat for u!! yeay..

then...we go to pizza hut..we ordered two sets of the set.(?? btul ke ayat ni??) anyway...when me,kencang n ain was ordering, the other 5 guys sudenly dissapear!..when they come back..suprise!! they bought me buskin robin's cake..yeay!!happy!!sedap!!!dah lame nk sgt cake tu...hehe thx guys..



after that,ain ask me to close my eyes..i refused at first..but then,after some argument, i agree..takut weyh..dorang ni bukan btul...kang xhape2 dorang wat..whoaa..takut..haha..then ain put something around my neck...i heard they laugh out hard..i feel it with my hand...raba2 sket...aaaaaaaa!!!!pajngnyenye tangan bende ni...dah agak dah!!!! a monkey teddy...kejam u guys..siap letak taik lalat..hahaha..one monkey pet is hard enough to handle, nw i got another one??hahaha

actually, one of them asked "nk makan kat mane??" ...i replied "delicious! tp msti xleh kan? =("
he said "tau xpe"....aaaaaa!!nk delicious! dah staun aku mintak tau nyet! nak nak nak!!

anyway....THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS..i really appreciate it..happy!!!!yeay!!

close-up!! kejam x?haha..

at last..freedommmmm

my goodness.
it all ended splendidly.
all passed!
note this.our overall performance is better than the seniors. the graph is going up!
dispite all the harsh words blundered by the lecturers all the way from our first year..

"ur batch is the worst!!teruk!!"
"ur batch is disappointing!!"
"contohi la seniors kamu.they are very matured.u guys are very disapoiting!!"
"if only 50% of ur batch passed pon, we will be very happy and glad!!" (serius rase nk ngis smpi guling2 mase dgr ni)
"ur batch performance is very bad.theres no such result in the history of this university"
"disapointing!!"
"disapointing!!"
"disapointing!!"
"disapointing!!"
"disapointing!!"
"disapointing!!"
"disapointing!!"
:
:
:
and the list goes on..

and to top it off, there was a revision class brought out only for certain people,which i xlayak masuk. many disagree with that. nonetheless,from dat day, i have made a promise to my self that i will prove to everyone that i can make it too..nah sila,sy pon dpt DISTINCTION gak ok!ha.ha.ha. (gelak kejam cm prof.hamdan mase kenekan org haha)..hehe
i made my parents proud. and that matters most.
[tolong jgn salah sgka dgn paragraph di atas ye..im not mad or angry or pape yg berkaitan dgnnya..saya cume mengekspresikan kesedihan.itu saja...maaf kalu ade sape2 yg terase ek..mintak maaf ]



nevertheless..despite of anything..i would like to express my gratitude to ALL of the lecturers for all the knowledge that ive gained.thank you!! i love you..i really do..

and to my friends who have been with me all the way, THANK YOU!!! we made it!!!!

see u guys in the hospital!!

we are one step closer..

aku brsalah atau sluar?

hari 2 aku try pkai jeans yg br bli kt indon, mase kt sane sluar 2 still lg ble pkai, tp bile blk sni xmuat dh, adakah sluar 2 mgecil?

spagettonasi goreng tomyam? (thai+france+malaysia+minang)..waaahh makmur!

dah lame xtulis resepi2 pelik yg aku masak kan?
yela..dah sume yg aku masak sume pon resepi pelik yg org xpenah dgr,yg aku sendiri pon xtau ape nk pggil...bile org tny "syaz u masak ape?"....aku akan jwb.."huh??errr...ayam err..ntah..i pon xtau ape ni!haha i men masuk je.."

ok now, lets get back to the point..
tonite..i mean just now..i was really hungry..so i scrape off the kitchen to find anything that can be eaten..well theres many..but..hurm..nothing..

keep looking..

ahhaa!! theres rice!..hahaha..

but,,,,alahaiiii secipottttt je weyh.."well nasi kan leh kembang,nnt byk la"..and so i tot..

TING! the rice cooker popped.."yeay!!" i walked to it..."aduhaiiiiii,dah la sket,lekat2 kat tepi lak ko ye nasi?"...i scrape it off..."sesuap je dpt ni...hua.."...hurm xpe la..."curik spagetti kim la!yeay!hahaha"

so now, lets start cooking!

• first, heat the pan with some cooking oil..
• eh jap..tukar bahase la....ckp omputeh xbest la..
• ehem2..
• ok..eh silap!..baiklah..
  
• bile minyak dah panas, msukkn bwang merah besar yg telah dipotong smpi berdesir2...shhhshhhh shhh..merecik2..smpi wangi ok?
• pastu sila la masukn bwang puteh yg telah dicincang dgn gaya seorang chef..cincang laju2 tau..kalu xlaju nnt xjadi resepi ni..haha
• bile dah gile babs pny wangi smpi perot tu bertambah kuat bergendang, masukkn daging ayam yg didadu, hirisan sebijik hotdog, daduan sehelai nugget,dan tidak lupe potongan menggoda chicken fingers atau name laennya jemari ayam..
• berdesirrrrrrrrrr..shhhhhhssshhhshhshhhh!!
• goreng la smpi masak ye ayam2 dan bahan2 itu ye cik..
• errrkk,,lapar okkkk..
• ok kalu dah lapar sgt, masukkan la paste tomyam kedalam bahan gorengan anda tadi..
• gaul smpi jadi cantik dan berseri2..lebih kurang 3-4 min cmtu kire cantik la tu..
• pastu.......
• grrgrrr..bunyik lagi perut ni,..cepat la msak
  
• masukkan nasi yg telah dimasak, n spagetti yg dicuri drpd cabinet kim (thx kim!eh aym tu td pon kim pny..eh hotdog pon!haha)..sile jgn lupe rebus dulu spagetti itu ye..kang xpasal2 je..
• gaull
• gaul lagi
• ok lagi
• ok lapar sgt ni..cukup..
• cari mgkuk yg gmbr bunge2,masukkn masakn anda td..
• eh jap!!jgn lupe letak garam sket..n lada hitam..
• cis lapa smpi lupe..
• dah masukkan dlm mangkuk bunga tu?
• ok dah siap!!
• tngkap gmbr..hehe
  
• aaaaaa nyummm..

masih hidup

yup im still alive alrite..
it has bee awhile hasnt it?
not dat i dont want to write.
not dat i dont have anything in my mind dat i want to spill out
they are screaming inside me u know..
i simply dont have the time..
seriuosly..
pro exam is JUSTTTTT around the corner..
a few days ahead..
can u imagine wut kind of emotions im having..
all jumbled up..up to the point of..hurmm..i dont even have the word for it..

mbe i have to wait..
wait a little longer..
after pro ended,im sure theres hell lot i can write n chatter about..hehe

life is so boring rite now..
its all about discussion n reading n printing notes
the more i read..the more i dont know..
cane nk jadi doktor ni?
dui..penin...euewwuuuueeeuuueewww...

here some sweet memory dat is keeping me alive..
alive..d'oh..xde la mati kan..i mean..when ever i see dis pic, i can always smile no matter what is playing inside my head..

all black..beday afiq..

tangkap serangge kat cyber park..uhhuuu rindu..tsk..

missing the moment..

see how rakus we were?how happy we were..haha..those were the days..
rindu gile kot..ni raya plg hancus..plg rakus..

ni..xpaham..haha

aaa ade bykkk lagi gmbr nk letak..papparazzi byk sgt..nnt kontroversi lak kan..haha

ok mbe after pro..i'll be myself again..hehe..yeah..sure..yup sure!

peninju merah jambu

penah dgr x seni kata lagu.. "milik siapakah hati ini..."

ok..cube nyanyi seni kate ni..gunakan nada tuk lagu td tu.. "milik siapakah boxer ini.."

begini kisahnya..

satu hari sabtu yg panas..waktunya tgh hari..noon bak kate omputeh..sekumpulan kanak2 yg kelaparan telah berlumba2 pergi makan ke kedai kegemaran di cyberjaya iaitu kedai mak teh..hampir semua kanak2 itu belum mandi..tp kerana laparnya perut, mereka semua basuh muke, tukar baju, sembur perfume, naik keta dan terus pandu..

seperti biase..bila dah sampai ke kedai yg selalunye full house itu, pengunjung akan pergi ke kaunter nasi smbil berkata "cik nasi!"..sesudah makan..kanak2 yg sekumpulan itu td berbual bual dgn gembiranya..sesudah penat bergelak ketawa..dan sedar akan keadaan diri yg belum mandi itu..seorang kanak2 riang yg sudah kekeyangan ingin membayar makanan yg telah dilahap itu td..oleh yg demikian, kanak2 ini dgn bangganya telah bangun dan bergerak ke kaunter..counter top tu cm agak paras pinggang bg kanak2 yg beriya2 ingin membayar itu..dengan itu..beliau pon merehatkan siku di atas kauter pembayaran itu smbil menonggekkan punggungnya yg sesungguhnya........errr.....how should i put it...errrr....xpe,anda pk la sendiri..
sambil die tonggeng2 punngung itu,,,,,die tidak sedar akan keadaan t-shirtnya yg pendek dan terangkat itu telah menyerlahkan satu sinaran berwarna merah jambu yg amat menyilaukan mata..tanpa membuang mase salah seorang dr kanak2 yg sekumpulan itu td yg otaknya mmg laju bila nk mengenakan org, telah mgeluarkan iphonenya dan ape lagi "SNAP!CLICK!"........"hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha!!" kedengaran tawa besar yg menggegarkan makteh itu...org2 yg tidak dikenali dr meja2 laen juga memandang dan turut serta dlm proses penggelakkan itu...

kanak2 yg menonggeng itu td merasa gegaran akibat tawa besar itu td..die pon menoleh ke belakang...jeng jeng jeng...sume org dlm kedai tu tgh pandang die smbil ketawa dan senyum kambing...serta merta mukanya menjadi merah...tangannye meraba ke bajunya di bahgian belakang dan...suppppp!..menurunkan bajunya yg terangkat td..

aku pon memandang padanya dgn mata sayu berkata..

.
.
.

"mr.K....seksi laaaaaa....."*winkwink*

..hehehe..

pleading self

"syaz..plz stop this childish act of yours..u r much better than this..u know u do..dont do this to ur self plz..u noe how it'll end.don let ur self drown again.stop it.stop it."i begged to myself

what a roller coaster ride a had tonite..
start with end in mind..
as ibu always say "the ending that is important"
i doesnt care how my day started..
as long as i get into bed smiling..its fine..
well..tonite, i end my day with a smile..a big one..heeee~ =)..hehe..im honestly happy..
music always have it way to make my frown melt..

"You seem to know the way
to turn my frown upside down
you always know what to say
to make me feel like everything’s ok"

-lenka-

RE: nymph

frustratedly i wrote the entry 'nymph'..to sha..so die si kaki donlod tu, will donlod statrek for me..
BUT this is what she write back in her blog..

RE: nymph

Kawan, star trek movie nih nye original dvdrip lom kuar lg...
u nk CAM nye, yg record dlm wayang nye ade la...
sakit mata tgk...sakit tinge dgr...mau?

Dh dload nnt...i bg eh...dgn caj spesel utk u....
saye caj awk....blanje sy mkn sushi king....okie?


this is my reply ...

RE RE: nymph

sume org kejam kat i.

im frustrated.
nyampah.
=(..

seriusly dis is my actual reaction..HUAAAAAAA!

hehehehe..

nymph

sha..tolong donlodkan star trek tuk i plz..

do u cook?

lauk tu sedap..sayang nk buang..
tapi..

dah tawar la rasa dia..
cane ek?nape ek?
garam xcukup la tu kot..
xpun,sbb dah lame sgt simpan dlm fridge tu..


dah pudar la warna dia..
adui..
mungkin sebab terlebih letak air kot..
xpun..sbb api tu besar sangat..panas sgt
tu la warna dia bertukar

nak g beli garam sikit la..
perlu ke?

nak tambah kunyit..pekatkan balik
perlu ke?

tak perlu la pakai garam..cuba gula..mungkin lebih sedap
kunyit?tukar warna baru nk?hijau?letak cili..mungkin lagi cantik

tapi..
tapi ape lagi..


lauk tu sedap..
syg nk buang..


laa..td kata dah tawar..dah len warnanya
masak je la yg baru..
rase die mmg la xsama
tp mane tau lagi sedap ke?

xleh..
nape lak..



tong gas xde..
aaa

ayam

have u ever been called a chicken before?
"alaa...ur a chicken!chicken!chicken!"
people always refer cowards as chicken..but why?


today..
i have realised why..
i attended the shortsem repro class..
today is physio of reproductive system with....
dr.hafiz ngoo..

"sperm production is influence by temperature jugak tau..dat is why ur testis is outside ur body"
"hehehehe" the guys laughed
"but not all have their testis outside of their body..like ayam..ayam punya testis kat dalam"
"hahaha..chickens have no balls..haha.." the girls whisper

me concluded "oh!patut la org pggil org penakut chicken!bcoz they have no balls.."

tp ade org ckp "bukan la..sbb ayam bile die nmpk bende je die lari.."

i countered "xla! btul la tu..sbb chickens have no balls"

org td ckp blk "xla..abes tu..ikan pon xde testis kat luar kan?nape org xpggil org penakut, "HEY FISH!""

me "tp" "......" "ngok la die ni" "hahaha"


ok..which one is the correct theory?

=)

the study group is on tonite.yeay.

aaaa..kecamuk

should i study or should i not?
haih..is that even a question?..ofcoz i have to..i dont want to..but i HAVE to!its pro exam in..what..39 days?aarghh..but here i am..in the pbl room, tapping on these little black tiles with white letters printed on each, looking out through the glass wondering if my study group frens is coming or not..

i am very sure i cannot study alone..how can i?byak gile kot nk bace..9 systems..2 years..in 39 days?it like SPM all over again but its definitely HARDER! waahh if only i have the brain which its sel-sel otak bergabung dengan rakus sampai terbabas2..mine is..hurm..figure it out yourself..

tot of having a study group..i really hope that i would work out..honestly,sgt jeles ok dgn study group jude,azrina,naji, ainun n some others which tirelessly come to this campus evryday..studying together everyday..enriching their knowledge with every single discussion they have.for sure they have studied a lot..kan?..me?duh..nk ngis ar pk..takut weyh..aku bodo tp respi pon xabes study agy..im moving veryyyyyyyyyyyy slow here..what should i do?..im frustrated with myself.

now, im cracking my head out figuring a way for me to study..i cannot study alone..im not as smart as some of my friends who doesnt have to work their ass off to score..for me passing is a pleasure..

what should i do?

.
.
.

im still looking through that glass...
.
.
.
nobody..

i guess i have to study alone today..
haih..
g study syaz!!shooh!shooh!!

setan xguna!!!!!!!!!!!!

ni la rupe setan xgune tu!!

setan xguna PENIPU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ko mmg nk mati kan??!
"nk mandi pulok"..what the funcking hell??? pdahal ko tgh wat bende bongok kat sebelah ni!! ko tipu abg ko...KANTOI!!!selama ni ko tipu aku jugak!!!!!tahikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ko!!!!!setannnnnnn aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

selama ni ko ckp "dah2 aku nk stdy!jgn kaco!" @ "jap..aku ade keje ni"..ko tipu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!xberguna ko wahai manusia tahi durjana!

padan muke ko kene baling ngan sume bende yg ade depan mata aku!nasib baik xde pisau!!

best gile kalu ade depan mata aku..mmg aku tikam ko si penipu!

ko tahiiiiiiikkk!!huaaa..ko mmg manusia xguna..

ni ko..bukan yg berdiri tu..






ko gelak2 ye tgk aku tulis bende ni...ko tunggu..ko doa je la yg aku xnmpk bende2 tajam kat depan mata aku..



penipu!!!!!

di bawah pohon asmara..

selamat pengantin baru azni & fiza

yesterday biha called and say dat her uncle,who is a wedding planner need 4 girls to be the usher for a wedding at the 'very the mahal' and 'very the grand' hotel, palace of the golden horses, (ecah, kwn2 u ramai kat situ) on sunday. ee..tau x mahal gile babun nk kawin kat situ?! tau x aku jeles?!! aaa!..anyway,the catch is, we will be paid rm60 each.cool. mmg aku sgt laaa nk duit skang ni..SENGKEK!

so.setibanya kitorang kat ctu, kitorang disuruh tuk memulakan keje.letak bunga telur kat setiap meja for 50 tables of 10.mudah.kacang.wat keje tu bape minit la sgt pon...pastu,dah abes je kitorang di beri makan.laaa...baru je smpi,baru wat satu keje kecik.xpe la..bedallll..aku pon dr smalam cume makn 1/2 paket megi. pny laaaa xde duitnye kan..pas makan,susun lagi skit bunga telur yg tadinya xcukup.amek mase 2 min je pon.pastu dah. then kitorang disuruh g tukar baju. mekupnye lebih lame dari keje td tu..dekat sejam stgh kot dak2 ni mekap.oh ya!!btw, macam2 la bende jd kat wafaa...sian die..serius lawak..what can be worse kan.its just ur luck la darling..hahahah! (wafaa don wory k,i xceta...hehehehe)..sesudahnya kitorang tukar baju tu, sedara mara sahabat handai rakan taulan si pengantin yg gila babs pny kaya (millionaire!) pon mula la sampai. tugas kitorang? bg wish card kat sape yg dtg. sruh dorang tulis wish tuk pngantin sbb nnt kitorang nk gntung wish list dorang kat pokok tu.ade la pokok tu..pastu, aku ngn biha tunjuk kat org mane meja2 dorang.sejam je kot sume tu.

oh lupe!!ade lelaki kacak!sgt ok..."senyum syaz!" aku ckp dlm hati bile mamat tu lalu haha.die lalu bykkk kali. cube bygkan bape kali aku ulang ayat tu dlm hati..haha.biha pn ckp "ish hensem..." ...ok,dgr ni..lelaki kacak itu adalah anak millionaire merangkap ADIK kepada si pengantin lelaki tuuuuu!faham x?..huaaa..nape dunia ni tidak adil?nape die pandai, kaya, bwk merce pada usia 20 tahun, hensem gila kacak, anak millionaire dan kemungkinan besar pndai (aku xpasti.tp english die bersepuh)??aku pon nk cmtu gak leh x?cuma tukar "hensem gila kacak" kepada "cantik gila menawan" haha..

wish list card

ini la pengantinnya..

waaahh..pelamin yg huaa


bila pengantin dah masuk.sume org duduk.mkan.kitorang pon bedal lagi...

hurm...ulang blk ape je keje yg kitorang wat? susun bunga telur,bg wish card, tunjuk mane meja,makan,makan agy. pastu dpt RM60. faham x?logik x?..huaaaa sewonokkk! dah la sepanjang mase kitorang kat situ,asek men tgkp gmbr.siap ade tgkap gmbr curik2 agy *wink wink* hehe..

di bwah pohon asmara..

adik pngantin! pndai x kitorang curik tgkp?

sedang gantung wish list card..semoga ape yg sume org wishkan tu jadi kenyataan..

nak tgk ape wish yg aku wat kat wish card tuu ????hehehehe

jeng


jeng


jeng

:
:
:

''i wish i will marry your brother''
hahahaha!! mission imposible..
tempted gile nk gantung ni kat pokok wish list tu..serius.haha
baik aku gantung diri dr aku gntung wish ni kat pokok tu..

selamat pengantin baru..semoga kekal abadi..bahgia ke anak cucu..semoga murah rezeki..AMINNN

aku tak tahu

hari ini 15 april 2009.bukan aku mahu beremosi.tidak juga aku mahu membebel membabi buta.ini adalah apa yang aku rasakan disaat aku membaca komentar yg diberi padaku berkenaan penulisanku yg sebelum ini.telah aku padamkan komentar itu.aku benci sekali.mungkin gurauan juga ada batasnya.ini rasa hati aku.............


nak ejek?ejek laaaaa..silakan.ejek la..caci la..kutuk la aku sepuasnya yg kau mau..biar puas benak perut kalian..biar penuh hati kalian dgn tawa..itu yg kalian suka kan?gelaklah..tertawalah sepuasnya.persendakan aku.persendakan lagi.

apalah gunanya sahabat jika hanya tahu dan mengerti erti menjatuhkan.perlukah kalian mempersendakan setiap gerak geri langkah aku yg sememangnya kusut ini?bukan sokongan,tetapi tawaan sinis yg kalian lontarkan pada aku.aku yg sesungguhnya hanya picisan pada mata kalian.jijik.

kalian sememangnya mengerti dan sesungguhnya kalian amat tahu dimana ralatnya perlakuan itu.mungkin jika hati kalian boleh melihat,tidak sekabur pandangan mata kalian itu,kalian akan dapat lihat setiap garis parut yg kalian toreh pada benak aku.

sememangnya aku turut tertawa dimana saat kalian perbodohkan aku.tapi apa mampu daya aku.perlukah aku memalingkan wajah?haruskah aku merajuk?tiada manfaatnya semua itu.kerana kalian adalah kalian.dan aku, sekali lagi,hanya jijik dimata kalian.

copy paste from NANARANI..but sgt3 true..

i have to read this thing EVERYDAY starting from now!
i have heard of this book a few years back.oh yeah,i watched oprah! oprah's book club!
and theres this book.."he's just not THAT into you"..i love the book..i read the book..tp xbeli.hehe..i went to kinokinuya everyday while waiting for my dad,sitting on the floor,pick that pink covered book and my eyes and mind are just digging into it..i know that the movie version is coming out..but xtau lak mmg dah kuar dah!!gosh!! i have to watch it.period. i realised dat the movies has been shown when i come across nana rani's blog..and what she wrote is very true.

**courtesy of nana**:

It is indeed true that you are entitled to find the love of your life, but would you forever want to life in question marks? The beginning of the movie was true enough, we are conditioned to think that if someone treats us like s***t, means he or she likes you. FORGET IT! If someone treats you like that, it means that person means it, nothing else.

• STOP thinking that someone likes you when he or she treats you like crap, calls you names or teases you till your heart aches. They're doing that because they mean it, nothing more, nothing less.
  
• STOP questioning yourself about the signs and symptoms that may be due to his or her feeling towards you. It is just your imagination, nothing more than just a hallucination you create so you will not feel so bad about yourself.
• If someone likes you, he or she would just go for it, so STOP imagining someone will come and be on their knees, begging you to come back. That is just plain fairy tale.
• STOP thinking that someone will change for you. It will never happen, not in a million years as everyone thinks about their selves first, including you!
  
• If someone doesn't call you, don't act like a desperado and try to call that person back. STOP hoping and dreaming and assuming that the person is on the other line waiting for your call. It just doesn't happen that way.
• STOP waiting for someone that will never turn back to look for you, just MOVE ON!

ok..nana, u got me straight on..ouch ok..
i'll read this every single day..thx for writing this and sekaligus reminding me not to live in my own creation of cloud nine..